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December 31, 2008

The Year in Review

I'm not a "holiday person." I don't observe most of the traditions Americans follow for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years Day. I have, in the past, made lists of New Year resolutions but I have stopped doing so because the result inevitably causes more anxiety than personal growth. Yet sometimes I find it interesting to take an inventory of the Old Year, not to form new resolutions but to ask myself what I can learn from experience. 


I have to say, 2008 is not going to go down in history as my best year, but there have been some high points:

  1. I made the decision to give up primary care late in 2007. Guilt carries over for the entirety of 2008.
  2. My hospitalist group takes over the business and begins a new contract with our hospital. Chaos ensues. 
  3. The hospitalist group is understaffed about 85% of the time. I work a lot of shifts.
  4. April, 2008: I turn 40. I spend most of the remainder of the year grappling with the implications of not being a spring chicken anymore.
  5. In the middle of all the hospitalist frustration, in May 2008 I decide to start blogging again. Any and all free time I used to have immediately disappears.
  6. Hospitalist group throws in the towel and gives notice to hospital in August 2008. I face uncertainty.
  7. In September 2008, I realized the physical and emotional toil of working three jobs is catching up with me. Decide to take a mini-retirement.
  8. As of the beginning of the mini-retirement, I have attended 29 births for the year, the lowest since I started residency. [Note: unless someone has a baby tonight, I this is going to be the total for the year.] Realize I have written more birth-related posts than delivered babies. 
  9. During the mini-retirement, I successfully complete NaNoWriMo for the first time. Decide I really am a writer at heart. Doctoring is my day job.
  10. Just as I'm putting my game face on to get back to work full-time, my partner is diagnosed with melanoma. We descend into panic and uncertainty.
  11. We receive a huge outpouring of offers to help when I announce my partner's diagnosis. Overwhelmed with gratitude. 
  12. My blog is nominated for two Medgadget Medical Weblog Awards. Astonishment ensues.
  13. To cope with panic and uncertainty, I decide to redecorate the house and get rolling on a bathroom remodel. Suddenly we are drowning in paint chips, fabric swatches and design books. We laugh a lot in between vacuum dressing changes and hospitalizations.

At this point, my partner's skin graft has 100% take and the every-other-day wound evaluations can finally come to an end. Although there is still a lot of uncertainty--and we have an evaluation at UCSF next month--life is starting to feel semi-normal, which is a good thing, and yet I'm wary of succumbing to complacency. The lesson of this year: Anything can happen, at any time. The only thing to do is to be grateful for every day, no matter what it brings.

Happy New Year to all!

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The laughter is the best part. :)

Happy New Year to you and your DSO! Hope 2009 is a good one

Thank you for sharing with us. And I second what the others have said.

I wish only good things for you and your DSO for 2009.

Yes, happy 2009, and thanks for sharing so much of yourself in the things you write here. You and your partner are in my prayers.

Hi,
Wish you very happy new year 2009.Thank you for sharing with us.

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