The Year in Review

I'm not a "holiday person." I don't observe most of the traditions Americans follow for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years Day. I have, in the past, made lists of New Year resolutions but I have stopped doing so because the result inevitably causes more anxiety than personal growth. Yet sometimes I find it interesting to take an inventory of the Old Year, not to form new resolutions but to ask myself what I can learn from experience. 

I have to say, 2008 is not going to go down in history as my best year, but there have been some high points:

1. I made the decision to give up primary care late in 2007. Guilt carries over for the entirety of 2008.
2. My hospitalist group takes over the business and begins a new contract with our hospital. Chaos ensues. 
3. The hospitalist group is understaffed about 85% of the time. I work a lot of shifts.
4. April, 2008: I turn 40. I spend most of the remainder of the year grappling with the implications of not being a spring chicken anymore.
5. In the middle of all the hospitalist frustration, in May 2008 I decide to start blogging again. Any and all free time I used to have immediately disappears.
6. Hospitalist group throws in the towel and gives notice to hospital in August 2008. I face uncertainty.
7. In September 2008, I realized the physical and emotional toil of working three jobs is catching up with me. Decide to take a mini-retirement.
8. As of the beginning of the mini-retirement, I have attended 29 births for the year, the lowest since I started residency. [Note: unless someone has a baby tonight, I this is going to be the total for the year.] Realize I have written more birth-related posts than delivered babies. 
9. During the mini-retirement, I successfully complete NaNoWriMo for the first time. Decide I really am a writer at heart. Doctoring is my day job.
10. Just as I'm putting my game face on to get back to work full-time, my partner is diagnosed with melanoma. We descend into panic and uncertainty.
11. We receive a huge outpouring of offers to help when I announce my partner's diagnosis. Overwhelmed with gratitude. 
12. My blog is nominated for two Medgadget Medical Weblog Awards. Astonishment ensues.
13. To cope with panic and uncertainty, I decide to redecorate the house and get rolling on a bathroom remodel. Suddenly we are drowning in paint chips, fabric swatches and design books. We laugh a lot in between vacuum dressing changes and hospitalizations.

At this point, my partner's skin graft has 100% take and the every-other-day wound evaluations can finally come to an end. Although there is still a lot of uncertainty--and we have an evaluation at UCSF next month--life is starting to feel semi-normal, which is a good thing, and yet I'm wary of succumbing to complacency. The lesson of this year: Anything can happen, at any time. The only thing to do is to be grateful for every day, no matter what it brings.

Happy New Year to all!

Comments

[x-ray fluorescence]

Hi,
Wish you very happy new year 2009.Thank you for sharing with us.

[albatross]

Yes, happy 2009, and thanks for sharing so much of yourself in the things you write here. You and your partner are in my prayers.

[cathy]

I wish only good things for you and your DSO for 2009.

[Robin]

Thank you for sharing with us. And I second what the others have said.

[rlbates]

Happy New Year to you and your DSO! Hope 2009 is a good one

[Katie B.]

The laughter is the best part. :)