Noo and I had to put our cat to sleep ten days ago, a very bad day indeed. I was starting a week at Nordstrom and had to drive back and forth from work to home three times that day, and it's hard to drive on rural highways when you're crying.
I've been quiet on the blog because I've been listening to myself. I realized that I've been putting solutions together for years which look good on paper but truly suck in practice. Flashing my middle finger at Gimbels and working at Nordstrom (a good job, btw, but...) seemed so reasonable at the time, but I hate being away from my home for a week at a time, and I hated missing my cat's final moments because I was on my way from 60 miles north. Not that working at Gimbels that day would have been a walk in the park, but I would have been there and I would have been able to hold her one last time. Thank goodness Noo was there. We raised this cat from a 4-week old kitten and she was like the warm pulse of our household. I don't expect everyone to understand this sentiment, but cat people will, and I honestly don't give a shit about any opposing opinions.
"Being there" is an emerging theme in my current reflections about doctoring, early middle age, the creative life, and What Comes Next. I'm going to try to get some of these reflections onto the blog but only episodically. I need to be quiet. I need to listen.