The last Birth Story I wrote described the worst shoulder dystocia I've encountered so far in my working life. It was a seven-minute delay between the birth of the baby's head and his shoulders, and it was the kind of seven-minute event which can change a person's life forever. I've heard of cases of shoulder dystocia in which the infant did not survive, or the mother suffered from significant injury, and I know of a number of doctors who have defended lawsuits after a bad dystocia. The outcomes are potentially bad enough that even when you have a good outcome, as I had, your gratitude may be diluted by fear. Some practitioners give up attending births after a near miss, even more change their practice style to become more conservative--becoming the kind of birth attendant they never wanted to be.
Whenever I've been involved in a scary incident, I remind myself of something I learned my intern year. I'd had a bad couple of nights on Night Float in which I'd attempted intrathecal analgesia twice on two different patients and not been able to get into the intrathecal space. Each time, my supervising third-year had to complete the procedure. So when the next night rolled around and my R3 approached me with a three year-old who needed a lumbar puncture, I hesitated.
"What's the matter?" My R3 asked.
"I've missed the last two spinal procedures I tried," I answered. "I think maybe it's better if you tap this kid, because--"
"Nope," the R3 interrupted. "You've got to get back up on that horse. You've got to do this one."
So we went up to the Pediatric unit, set up for the lumbar puncture, and--with my R3 standing behind me--I got in and did a champagne tap. Smooth and easy as if I'd been doing it all my life.
The moral of this story: If you're having a run of bad luck, keep trying. The worst possible outcome after a scary clinical scenario or a failed procedure is allowing uncertainty to take hold. Far better to try, try again than to hold back and never achieve any competence--or courage.
So, after the events in Birth Story #423, I decided to get back on the horse. Here's the story: